Nothing else but...

I feel really bad about abandoning my digital child - this very blog. Nope, its not twitter, Facebook or Poken that has taken over my life, and it has nothing to do with a writer’s block either.
Most of all, I feel really bad because I have promised many, that I would keep this blog alive. 
But then again, I’m busy scrambling my gray matter these days – trying to remember what I learnt from the advertising greats like Jeremy Bullmore, Richard Fowler and Brian Searle-Tripp at Ogilvy, long, long time ago. I’m trying to put together a series of presentations so that I could train my team – unfortunately it is not such an easy task. The thing is, advertising has evolved to become the art of communication; the world is changing so fast today that even Facebook has become a “traditional” medium. I feel I am too ‘old’ to keep up with this marathon – sometimes all I want to do is to sit under a coconut tree on a beautiful Sri Lankan beach, sip a nice Old Reserve with Wild Elephant, put my legs up and enjoy the gorgeous sunset to the rhythm of the waves slashing against the white sands.
Instead, I spend most of my time in a land where restaurants have two entrances: one for the “Single men” and the other for the “families” and women. My time in this country has become such a regular affair that I cannot even call my blog “Life in Taprobane” anymore – it might as well be re-christened as “Life in-between Mecca and Medina” I suppose.
Not that I have a miserable life here - compared to most who live in Saudi Arabia.
I have access to alcohol - albeit a bottle costs nearly 300 US dollars. I see women in bikinis if I peep from my front window at home. I live in a heavily fortified “compound” that’s similar to what’s seen in the movie “the Kingdom.” Every time I come home, I stop at the first gate manned by private security as well as the Army. Various warnings including “No Photos” and “Turn off the Headlights” stare at my face until a security guard scans the vehicle and raises the barrier. I usually wave at the guy and zig-zag through a maze of concrete barricades along a barbed-wire fenced wall, to the main gate where a guard sitting behind a bullet-proof window recognises me and presses a few buttons to lower the steel barrier as I wait for the red light to turn green. There’s another gate that opens immediately after the barrier, then I weave through another concrete jungle, bump over the humps at every 50 yards and slowly get to my home sweet home where I have unrestricted internet access and a bottle of Vodka in the fridge.
Yes, the internet is censored to the public in the Kingdom and it is the “world outside the compound” that bothers me.
There is a notice on our office door proclaiming that “Women Work Here” – and it reminds me of the signs we often see at home: “Beware of the Dog.”
There are times that I find myself alone in an empty elevator, simple because some of the Saudi women refuse to enter because “there is a man inside.” I feel like a leper – but I know it is their loss, not mine. I KNOW they don’t get much opportunity to spend time with guys like me – so even a nano-second lost is a time gone to waste. For them. Besides, my breath could impregnate women – yes I have that gift – I guess that must be what those women are thinking.
The social barricades here are unimaginable and unbelievable, women who live in Sri Lanka have absolutely no idea how blessed are they to be born in such a beautiful country. According to the The World Economic Forum Gender Equality Survey, women in Sri Lanka are treated better than the Australians, Canadians and even the Americans. Sri Lanka ranks at the 16 place, Saudi Arabia of course somewhere at the very bottom, barely keeping up with Chad, Mali and Benin.
Women cannot drive in Saudi Arabia. Most women are at the mercy of their driver, even if they had to buy a Panadol for a headache (and, a woman needs a lot of those in this country!). They pay his salary, but the driver has the right to “pray” five times a day and the employer has to wait, no matter how important her needs are.
There are quite a few, well-educated Saudi women who are joining the mainstream employment. These are the progressive women who know how to remain ‘progressive’ within the cultural and social norms, but the society isn’t ready for this. We have a client who employees around ten to fifteen thousand people across the Kingdom, but their head office does not have a single toilet dedicated for women. But, on the surface, this organisation is one of the most modern, forward-thinking businesses in the country that encourages the young Saudi females to lead the change. This is a minor detail compared to the other frustrations women have to put-up everyday at their workplace. Saudi men DO NOT look at a woman’s eyes when they talk to her – even in meetings and I find that very irritating. If she is friendly, they mis-read her. If she keeps her distance, they think she is a bitch. Some of them completely ignore her, as if she doesn’t exist. The religious extremism is so deep-rooted in their minds, they act as if they don’t have mothers or sisters.
Saudi women are not allowed to be seen in public without a chaperone, they cannot travel without a male custodian, they are not allowed to represent themselves at a government office, in a police station or a Court without the male guardian. They cannot open a bank account for themselves on their own, even if they are employed and earning their own income. Rights of women, do not exist here.
The society segregates the men and the women, they are not allowed to mix and mingle. We don’t usually ask our Saudi colleagues about their fiancés or wives – asking about someone else’s wife is like having an affair with her it seems. But, however, the lingerie shops in the Kingdom are manned by men who are allowed to measure a woman’s cup-size and talk to her about her underwear at length  – because women are not allowed to work in shopping malls. Such is the beauty of this bowl of spaghetti of a country – they are all confused in their own religious laws and taboos.
The other day, while chit-chatting about life of a woman in this country, one of my Saudi female friends put it in proper perspective: for a Saudi man, a woman is nothing else but a pussy!
*2012 UPDATE: The government encourages Saudi women joining the retail trade and now there are women serving at lingerie shops, cosmetics stores, supermarkets and even some restaurants.

Food for thought for the Tamil Diaspora

I had lunch with a certain Mr Arunachalam, an Indian Tamil from Madras. The conversation that took place prompted me to write this post.

Sri Lanka is a place for all of us to live in harmony. If anyone, especially the Tamil diaspora thinks that Sri Lanka should be ethnically divided, then, the following is food for though for you. This is also good for those LTTE sympathisers in our country as well as around the world:

Your claim: Sri Lanka is the only place for Tamil Ealam

Fact: Sri Lanka is the ONLY place in the world for the Sinhala race and the Veddahs. Whether you like it or not, they have the right to this land before anyone else. Tamils, on the other hand, have the historical right to Tamil Nadu – and that is where the only Ealam Dreamland should be. Or you may consider Singapore, Malaysia, Canada, Germany, England or Australia – they have been pampering you well, haven’t they?

Claim: North and East are the historical Tamil Homeland

Fact: If you think the North and East belonged to the Tamils historically, think twice. Read the history of Sri Lanka – the truth, not the rubbish you teach in Tamil schools in Germany. Visit Anuradhapura and look at the moonstones: Lankan civilisation began in the North (not in the South) and the Buddhists were there before the Tamils. Many places of worship of significant importance for Buddhists still lie in the North and East, including places such as Nagadveepa and Thiriyaya – which is said to have been built containing relics of the lord Buddha.

Only during the Polonnaruwa regime that the cow was removed from the moonstone as a result of the Hindu influence. That’s the first time ever the Cholas set foot in our island – so how dare you claim that the North and East are the “traditional” land of the Tamils?

Claim: Sinhala Buddhists are committing a Genocide in Sri Lanka
(Genocide is the deliberate and systematic destruction, in whole or in part, of an ethnic, racial, religious, or national group.)

Fact: There were Sinhala and Muslim communities living in the North and East – not so long ago. Where are they now? Who has systematically eliminated them, chased them out of their own homes? Who has chopped the heads off the infants, split opened pregnant mothers, stamped their wombs, killed every Sinhala person in sight and torched their villages?

Starting from the Kent Farm and Model Farm, the Tamil extremists have eliminated the Sinhala and Muslim communities from the North (and tried in the East too); they attacked temples and mosques, brutally executing monks, priests and innocent people while they were praying. From Aranthalawa, Dimbulagala and Sri Maha Bodhiya to Kandy, the barbaric LTTE terrorists didn’t even spare a temple or a mosque. It’s the Tamil terrorists committing genocide in Sri Lanka, not anyone else!

Claim: Tamils are discriminated in Sri Lanka

Fact: A person from the majority Sinhalese cannot buy a piece of land in the North (prevented by a pact), but the Tamils can buy land anywhere in the country. Statistically speaking, Tamils are occupying more than their share in universities, in the civil service, the government and even in the private sector. From Sea Street to 4th Cross Street, there are certain trades and industries that “belong” to the Tamils, and no Sinhala or Muslim merchant can penetrate that. A closer look at the transformation of Colombo and its suburbs will make any pea-brain understand who is having a better life and who is being pushed aside from the capital city. From Paskaralingam to Kadirgamar to Muralitharan, there are millions of Tamils who have flourished in this country. It is the Sinhala students who cannot attend the Jaffna University or the Eastern University, while the Tamil students enjoy their rights all over the country, including the Peradeniya University in the heartland of the Sinhala Buddhists. Even in Colombo, a Sinhala student is not admitted to any Tamil school, while all the Sinhala schools accept Tamil students.

From education, to civil service, to businesses and private sector, to land-ownership in Colombo – Tamils are enjoying more than their fair share. How would it be possible if there is so-called discrimination against Tamils in Sri Lanka?

Claim: Sri Lankan regime has failed to take care of the North and the East

Fact: Jaffna had been almost on par with Colombo at one time, a thriving cosmopolitan – the second capital of Sri Lanka – before the troubles began. There are many provinces and districts that have been forgotten by the ruling parties – North and East aren’t at the top of that list. Uva, for example did not even have a university until 2 or 3 years ago; Moneragala district is the most deprived in the entire country. The governments have always favoured the Tamils – in order to keep their votes, and as a result, they have been enjoying better benefits than the others in Sri Lanka.

Claim: Tamils get hassled and harassed by the security checks

Fact: The Sinhalese, the Muslims, the Burghers – we all get woken up in the wee hours of the morning, during search operations; we all get our bags, baggage and vehicles checked, we all get harassed – that’s the price the innocent people pay for the environment the stupid LTTE has created. Anyone who fails to produce valid identification or reasonable evidence for whereabouts would get into trouble – unless you are a foreigner (they are the privileged ones in paradise). There are Sinhala and Muslim informants on the LTTE payroll too, so everyone is a ‘suspect’ at a checkpoint. We all go through the same hassle, same agony. But then again, you hardly visit Sri Lanka, so what would you know?

Claim: Sinhalese Buddhists are at War with the Tamils

Fact: Nope, we aren’t. If we did, there wouldn’t have been any Tamils living outside LTTE-controlled areas. Majority of the Tamil population is living outside the LTTE grip; living amongst the other ethnicities in harmony. Government of Sri Lanka (GoSL) is at war with the terrorists, just like some other democracies around the world. Some LTTE propaganda agents substitute GoSL with Sinhalese Buddhists and LTTE with the Tamils, to leverage certain situations in their favour.

Claim: Some Sinhala Extremist Parties are spreading Sinhala-only ideologies

Fact: Yes, there are extremist elements such as Jathika Hela Urumaya (JHU trans. National Sinhala Heritage) – which came to being to counter the extremists such as the LTTE under a political mandate. Tamil extremism is over 50 years old in Sri Lanka while JHU isn’t even 10 years old. JHU, being an extremist, has almost zero influence on the average civil society. Tamils, on the other hand, have “erased” Sinhala from their areas (only Tamil and English exist on the sign boards from the North – out of sight, out of mind?) while the rest of the country treats Tamil as one of the official languages.

Now, who is being extreme and who is breeding extremism in this country?

Claim: Sri Lankan Government has no option but to negotiate with the LTTE

Fact: Sri Lankan Government did not negotiate with the Sinhala Buddhist uprisings in the early 70’s and the late 80’s. The Sinhala terrorists were captured, tortured and killed – and their heads decorated the roadside fences. Their burning bodies were seen in almost every street corner every morning, and over 50,000 youth are still missing to date. That was the Sinhala Buddhist government taking care of the Sinhala Buddhist youth who terrorised the country. The government does NOT have to negotiate with terrorists. The Sri Lankan governments have been too nice, and tolerant, to the Tamil terrorists all these years.

Claim: The international community has a right to involve in the Sri Lankan situation

Fact: The international community has already banned the LTTE – a terror outfit and its sister-concerns. Not even India can ecourage terrorism or division anymore; they too have Mumbai and Kashmir on their agenda. Sadly, it is only a few misguided Tamil businessmen and individuals who support the LTTE around the world trying to lobby a voice for lost cause – they hardly quantify or qualify as the “international community.” BBC and the gullible British elements don’t qualify either. You too will soon see the truth and realise that the Ealam dream was nothing but a painful nightmare.

Claim: LTTE is the only and true voice of the Tamil people

Fact: LTTE does not represent the true Tamils of this country. If they did, why would they eliminate EPRLF, EPDP, EROS and TULF? Weren’t they representing Tamils too? Why would they kill any Tamil voice that was against the LTTE agenda – no matter how big or small the person was? From innocent villagers who were labelled as “traitors” to great statesmen like Lakshaman Kadirgamar, LTTE has killed thousands of its own kith and kin that they were “supposedly” protecting. In fact, the LTTE has killed more innocent Tamils than the number of LTTE militants killed by the Sri Lankan Security Forces. LTTE is not the true voice or the protector of the Tamils in Sri Lanka. It’s just the opposite.

Claim: LTTE is protecting the civilians in their area, if they get out, they would be killed by the Sri Lankan Security Forces. (Also according to LTTE and the BBC)

Fact: Almost all the Tamils in Sri Lanka – except for the ones who are trapped in the current War Zone – live outside the LTTE influence. How come they are not killed? If over 90% of the Tamils are living outside the LTTE held areas, in harmony with the rest of the Sri Lankans, protected and freely, what are they talking about? They would be killed by the military advance if they DON’T leave the LTTE-held areas soon enough.

Claim: Sri Lanka failed to recognise the demands of the Tamils and never offered a political solution

Fact: Sri Lanka did, but sadly the Tamils didn’t recognise the power they had in their hands. The country switched from a 225-seater parliament that represented an MP per electorate to the Provincial Council System to satisfy the demands of the Tamils. This may not have been perfect, but it was a very good beginning. North and East were combined and offered in a silver platter to the terrorist leader twice, but he refused to enter the political stream. LTTE rejected democracy and took up arms, not once, not twice, but many a times. Every “Cease-Fire” ended in LTTE regrouping, re-arming and murdering hundreds of Sinhalese – the Tamil Diaspora that has never set foot in the island should use their brains to understand why the LTTE were NOT acting for the benefit of the ordinary Tamils.

Sri Lanka would have been better off without the high-maintenance Provincial Council System – with a leaner, meaner, accountable and more responsible Parliament. Today we have a white elephant – created for the Tamils, but fed by the rest of the Sri Lankans.

---

We were a resourceful nation in South Asia, ahead of Singapore on the development curve, once upon a time. Thanks to the idiotic ideologies and stupidities of LTTE, the whole country has gone back in time – in to the stone ages. The roads are still the same width as it were 30 years ago, the currency has depreciated from Rs 16.00 to a US Dollar in 1978 to almost Rs 114.00 to a US Dollar today – a whopping 712% in just 30 years! The country is filled with the maimed and the war-victims – a huge burden on the welfare system for the next few generations to come. Emotional scars would take another zillion years to heal; and I could write another million ways the war has crippled our Paradise.

Most of all, the LTTE cleverly bumped-off all the brains in the political system – leaving the country in the hands of a bunch of imbeciles. We will win the war and restore peace and stability, but we cannot gain the time we lost. We cannot turn back the clock. The world has moved on, leaving us far behind.

In simple, the LTTE morons have shat on the pile of gold that is Sri Lanka. It is going to take a few heavy monsoons to wash away the crap and the stench, and its going to be a hell of a long time before we begin to shine again.

Sanga’s Sixer to Hutch...

Sangakkara switches from Hutch to Airtel. His fans are disappointed, they think Sanga was unethical and he has let them down.

They blame Sanga.

Sanga has not breached the contract he signed with Hutch or its ad agency. The contact expires and a cleverer agency negotiates a deal that discriminated the old brand he was representing. It may be unethical on Sanga’s part (I didn’t think sleeping with the enemy was that easy); but it is definitely not illegal. I’m sure he must have asked for a huge lump sum to say what he says about the old brand.

It is the agency’s responsibility to negotiate fees with celebrities – and they draft the contracts – usually with a certain amount of exclusivity to protect the brands. Ideally, the exclusivity prevents the celebrity from endorsing the competition a for couple of years, even after the expiry of the contract. There is a silly mistake agencies tend to make while negotiating: they tend to encourage less exclusivity so that they could pay the celebrity much less than they’d demand. More conditions cost more money, so they think it is best to stick to a basic agreement that doesn’t cover much, and cost much.

Agencies think that they are doing a great big favour to the client by offering a celebrity for an ‘affordable’ price-tag. Think cheap and act cheap – and it is sure to cheapen the brand in the long run.

Ad agencies should learn to pay the celebrities what they are worth. It is the agency’s sole responsibility to protect the brand with an air-tight contract, they should not also forget that the more money they pay the celebrity, the more commission they are going to make.

Our agencies should learn more on how to handle the models and brand ambassadors. They need to learn how to draw model releases and exclusive contracts. This is not the first time a celebrity takes a brand for a ride; the agencies are the brand guardians – they must know how to protect their brands.

Hutch is paying the price today for some account manager’s stupidity and short-sightedness, while the fans blame Sangakkara for for being unethical in business.

I’d say it’s the ad agency that’s to be blamed for this mess and if I were Hutch, I would fire the agency, on the spot.

Life-cycle of Banda and the Mexican Fisherman

Banda is born in a beautiful village in the paradise, in a traditional home overlooking the paddy-fields and the mountains in the distance.

Banda attends school in the nearby town.

He comes to Colombo for higher education.

A few years later, he finds himself in the West, chasing the “American” dream or its equivalent.

A yuppie, with a great job, caught-up in the rat-race.

Passport. Family. House. Car. Kids.

And the time passes by. Kids grow up and they leave home as Banda retires.

He’s tired of the hustle and bustle and comes back home to Sri Lanka seeking serendipity in his old-age.

And decides to spend a quiet, retired life, away from it all.

Banda spends his hard-earned dollars to buy a plot of land in a beautiful village and builds a traditional house, overlooking the paddy-fields and the mountains in the distance.

In Response to ‘Booze or Fags?’

“What’s more acceptable and tolerable? Being a heavy drinker, a heavy smoker, a bit of both or a teetotaler?”

Mathawaada asks in a recent post.

As the quote suggests, the islanders are a bit “heavy” on their drinking and smoking, and they do not seem to know their limits. We gather around a table by the beach-side and order a bottle. Heck, there’s only two of us, but we still start with a bottle. Then we call our friends to join in. And we order another bottle, and another... until they close shop or the till the sunrise warms our cold butts.

There is no way one could spend an entertaining evening with his buddies drinking plain tea and eating kimbula banis in this paradise. One plain-tea (and a cigarette perhaps); and there will be the waiter slapping the bill on the table and hovering around, worse than the flies that usually occupy the said “hotel” table.

We have an almost zero coffee culture, no hang-out joints and there are no nice Virgins in Colombo for hours and hours of tête-à-tête. Nice Virgin Stores, with lounges, I mean. The rare chill-out joints would be ‘giving the look’ once they see that the time we spent justifies the coffee(s) we bought. Even the Galle Face Promenade has lost its glory, it isn’t a nice hangout anymore.

Where could people like us spend some quality time in peace with the gang?

The only place that welcomes anyone with open arms is a joint that sells alcohol. So we get there and start with a bottle – by default. The moment one has had his first sip, he is in a dilemma. If one is going to get caught drunk, it might as well be worth it, right? So why stop at a quick drink, why not go all the way? Same result: expect trouble from the cops (if one is driving) and trouble from the home-front, both alike, in equal doses.

Besides, hendello’s, fish fingers and the seafood rice are a class apart from kimbula banis, anyway.

It’s nothing else but our social “standards and norms,” our habits and attitudes that contribute to a culture that drinks by the bottle. We don’t allow small shots at home, so we tend to go for large bottles out of home. People don’t order a “round of drinks” in Paradise, and we seem to think that only sissies drink by the glass.

So one drinks by the bottle and he gets drunk. He gets drunk, and he is a menace. Period.

Drinking isn’t bad. Its just the “style” of drinking in paradise that elevates it to a problem. Put that in advertising lingo, consumption of alcohol isn’t a bad concept; it’s the execution that sucks.

People all over the world have a glass of alcohol before, during, or after many a meal. It could be the beer that accompanies the chips, or the wine that compliments the bread and the cheese. Or the mug of “Kvaas” that sits in the middle of the communist soup kitchen. The French consume cheese by the truckloads and still have no cholesterol problems like us, and they owe it to the wines. Yes, there is scientific evidence.

The Black Label Centenary Edition even had the nutritional information printed on the bottle – making it one of the healthiest drinks in the world – in comparison with most beverages that are deemed harmless. See the irony?

Anything beyond moderation (heavy) is a menace, not only alcohol.

One could drive a car after having a glass of wine or a beer in countries that have understood the meaning of the word “moderation.” We, the islanders of paradise who practice and preach Buddhism that’s build on moderation, has no clue what it means; and get pissed-drunk and end up in trouble. Day after day. To the point where our good women wouldn’t marry a man who “drinks and smokes” – even occasionally.

Blame yourself, not the alcohol. Alcohol isn’t a cure for boredom, a solver of problems or a diet. Alcohol isn’t a career – and don’t make one out of it either. My appreciation of alcohol can be found in an earlier post here, if one is looking for some entertaining read.

So, going back – my simple answer the original question: no one tolerates a “heavy” drinker. Not even his own mother. And “heavy” drinking is NOT socially acceptable – not even in a colony of drunks.

On the other hand, drinking in moderation is quite acceptable, and it is quite ok for a “lady” to have a drink or two too. There is a whole culture – an art, almost – based on consumption of alcohol, extending from choosing the wine to fit the menu, to how to hold the glass. A drinking etiquette for the ladies and gents – to drink in a civilised manner.

Knowing your whiskeys and wines are an art; so is the cocktail culture. If you know how to serenade your lover in an elegant style with a fine bottle of French wine, you are a Winner. If you know your way around fixing shots and have mastered the artistry of having them (including the one where the shot is placed in a woman’s cleavage and lifting her up to gulp it), you are a friggin’ champion..!

So, here I raise my glass to the fine art of drinking.

Cheers!!!

PS: My two cents on smoking to follow. Soon.

Remembering Aimless Sex and Senseless Murder

There are some remarkable differences between the animals and the human race. Amongst them, are two things humans do without a purpose or a reason: they indulge in aimless sex and commit senseless murder. Humans are the only species to kill their own, without a justifiable cause.

Since there are many interesting blogsites that talk about the former, I shall stick to the latter.

Today, November the 11th, is the 90th anniversary of the end of the World War I. Known as the Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth, and Armistice Day in many other countries – the day is named after the armistice signed between the Allied Forces and Germany in France, where over 40,000 men were sent to death wave after wave in just one day. The day is still remembered by all those who felt the loss of nearly 20 million lives in that war. For the rest of us, it’s a special day to remember the War Veterans world over.

Be it the Poppy Flower, or the local rendition – sooriya mal – the natives of this island paradise too remember their fallen men and women on this special day. It is also a moment to remember the innocent, unarmed civilians who have lost their lives in LTTE ethnic cleansing, genocide and terror attacks – starting from Kent Farm and Dollar Farm, to recent bus-bombs all over the country.

This is a day for me to remember all those brave men in the front-line, including some of my dear friends, who gave their lives to protect the integrity of this nation. This is a moment to appreciate the sacrifices the military is making to relieve the nation from the grip of senseless terror and their relentless effort to get rid of the 25 year old menace that has crippled our economy, ruined our nation and destroyed our future.

This post also pays a special tribute to my best, and the dearest friend in the Air Force and my college-mates who are currently serving in the Navy and the Army. Its a special time to cherish the many moments we have shared and the many memories we have built in some of the most interesting and not-so-civil places in the country. It is also a moment to reflect on my life, wondering if I truly regret the decision I took to walk away from a prospective military life.

This country desperately needs to see an end to the War and LTTE’s barbaric atrocities. As the Sri Lankan forces condemn terrorists to an imminent defeat, the country could finally breathe a sigh of relief and feel the sweet smell of success in the air. For once, the government has not fallen prey to the “ceasefire-calls” from the terrorists that usually end in catastrophic military carnage. Lasting peace may not be as near, but eliminating LTTE terrorism would certainly pave the way for a long-term solution through political dialogue.

While we offer our support and encouragement to those who are in the battle front, we also offer prayers for those brave men and women whose guns have gone silent in the name of my motherland: may your souls rest in peace.

Of being Gay and Happy

Colombo is planing to host an Athletic Meet for the Gay & Lesbian Community (to be politically correct, LGBTIQ community). While the gay and happy people are celebrating here, on the other side of the globe they are taking to the streets. The State of California has voted to ban same-sex marriage in Prop 8 just a few months after its implementation.

This brings to the table a paradox in democracy.

Can a majority of the community vote to deprive a minority of their rights? True, the majority of the population aren’t gay; but can they take away the right of a minority in the name of democracy..?

I just wonder.

Media “Freedom” vs Responsibility

The “Reporters Without Borders for Press Freedom” released the World Press Freedom Index 2008 and Sri Lanka ranks at the bottom 10 at the 165th place, barely beating Iran, China, Vietnam, Cuba, Burma, Turkmenistan, North Korea and Eritrea.

Zimbabwe – where BBC and a host of other international reporters are banned – is ranking at 151. Saudi Arabia, where an individual cannot even take a picture or look at a woman in public ranks above us. United Arab Emirates where journalists and photographers need clearance papers ranks at 69th place. Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq offer better press-freedom, according to the report.

I love my country – with all its imperfections. Most people who live here take our freedom for granted – they should live in countries like Saudi Arabia or Russia to understand what we enjoy here in this paradise isle. Journalists here enjoy certain privileges that ordinary tax paying citizens don’t: their “Media ID” is the immunity from traffic violations, curfews, road-blocks and it opens doors that are usually shut for the rest of us. They enjoy the occasional banquet with the President while the rest of get to sit in road blocks cursing, and watch him go whizzing by.

Our media freedom extends beyond what’s painted by the Reporters Without Borders. Most countries and most governments control news from sensitive areas and issues – but we often see our media personnel walking through bomb-blast sites contaminating would-be critical evidence and clues while paying no attention or respect to the authorities. The recent Madrid plane crash site was closed to the media until the investigations were over – the only news footage media received were from the government. If a situation that is not a national threat is handled in such manner in a country which ranks at 36, I wonder what takes us to the bottom of the list.

I for one, totally agree with the government controlling the battle news for the sake of our own forces and security. Matters of national security and military secrets are not for general consumption, the Media must learn to act responsibly understanding the fine line between the greater good and the harm. Publishing a picture of a bomb-laden vehicle is not warning to the general public, but its a warning to the bomber – our media doesn’t seem to understand the “effect” of such simple matters; let alone more complex and sensitive military information. The Ministry of Defence updates the media on a regular basis, and the national television is reporting from the battlefront all we need to know. BBC doesn’t get access to American military sites and operations; they get access to British Forces in Afghanistan. So is Sri Lanka: the national media is in the battlefront with our forces in Kilinochchi; there’s nothing wrong in keeping the independent media personnel out of sight.

So what makes us rank amongst the worst 10?

If it is the media personnel being threatened by certain “dark” elements, they should think again. It is not only the media personnel that gets harassed by the mob, beaten up or thrown in jail in our country, the common man faces the same situation and endures it every day.

If it is the the government not opening the gates of our military bases and sensitive locations to BBC et al, they must place USA at the bottom of the list for not opening up Gitmo bay and hundreds of other sensitive locations.

This is a country where anyone has the freedom to report the truth from anywhere. This is country where one can even publish a newspaper against the government, let alone an article. As a direct result of this media freedom, the market is flooded with menacingly useless radio channels, television stations and newspapers that lack substance and discipline.

Our media personnel need to understand their responsibility in this society. They are the ones who paint our image black or white in the eyes of the international community. People in other countries read what our journalists write about us, its our contribution that creates our image. I think it is the prime responsibility and sole obligation of our media personnel to look at countries like Saudi Arabia or Russia and understand the freedom we enjoy; and ensure that our image internationally is uplifted, not vandalised.

Sri Lanka’s most Powerful brand

Advertising lingo is somewhat confusing to most laymen. I have met brand managers who didn’t know the difference between “Brand Values” and “Brand-Value” – let alone the laymen. That may be so, but there is a new Sri Lankan brand that has been extremely successful both in local and international scene; the ‘brand-team’ has managed to create the most successful, most powerful brand in just over two years!

Its not an FMCG, its not even anything we consume or purchase. Its not a product or service, but something that would easily qualify to be a “company” or a “corporate.”

Most of us don’t even think of it as a brand – but considering the spending on advertising, brand-building, public relations, events and media over the last two years – we would all agree that the most expensive “brand” in the country today is none other than “Mahinda” – yes, the President Mahinda Rajapakse.

No one has adored more full-page-colour advertisements in newspapers than “Mahinda” in the recent past.
On outdoor circuits, “Mahinda” easily beats the greatest locations and biggest spenders.
On public relations spending, “Mahinda” easily beats the biggest brands.
His typical budget for a single event could easily exceed most of our annual budgets.
He’s got the largest battalion of “brand-ambassadors” promoting his image from Hambantota to the Parliament: the latest addition to the well-rehabilitated and gel-groomed Sinhala terrorist is the former Tamil terrorist from the Wanni jungles.
His brand adorns t-shirts, caps, walls, and all around us – he even almost made it to an airline that carries the “Mahinda Lotus” in its wings.
Beyond the box, keeping in line with the traditional street-performer – he’s got a court jester too in Mervin Silva...
There is not a single communication channel this brand has not explored or ignored.
The brand team knows the power of Word-of-Mouth; and he’s got the biggest number of mouth-pieces harping his good.

Talk of brand “influence” and we all know how that works in the island. Leave aside the physical influence, even in terms of design, his influence has crept into corporates including Sri Lankan Airlines templates too, where we begin to see the “Mahinda Wave and the Lotus” at the bottom of the page..! The whole country – including the fashion-savvy (or so I thought) Colombo crowd – seems to imitate his shawl around the neck...

No other Sri Lankan brand has been successful in international image building as “Mahinda.” His international profile makes him look like the savior of our times. On World Economic Forum, “Mahinda” has been advocating peaceful resolution of the Middle East situation as the President of Sri Lankan Committee for Solidarity with Palestine over the past 25 years, WOW! All facts, well presented – a true testimony for successful image building. The result? “Mahinda” gets invited for global forums and speeches and his brand team is doing a fantastic job. I’m sure the team must be eyeing the Nobel Peace Prize – if only “Mahinda” manages to “liberate” the suffering Tamil community from the grip of terror...

Kudos to brand building! Even though I do not agree with MR’s “Brand Values,” I sure cannot ignore the “Brand-Value” “Mahinda” has gained in such a short period of time.

“Ran De-peya” Producers Killed?

I’m in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia till the end of the month and there’s a new controversy brewing here. The Chief Justice has declared that it is “lawful to kill the people who are responsible for producing immoral television soap operas” that corrupt their society. He was referring to some free-to-air programmes that are viewable in the Kingdom via a cheap satellite dish that’s within everyone’s reach.

Among the Egyptian, Lebanese, South American and Turkish productions, there’s one in particular that has irritated the religious leaders. Noor, or Gumus as it is known in original Turkish, imitates the European culture and seems to be the most popular among the Arabs.

On the scales of domestic violence, abuse of women or interchanging sex-partners, Noor fades into oblivion compared to Mahagedara, Praveena and the rest of the rubbish on local television.

If there should be anyone “lawfully killed” for corrupting moral values of human society by means of creating inappropriate, immoral tele-dramas, I’m sure our ones would top the list alongside with their Indian counterparts.

The beauty of living in a “socialist, democratic, liberal” society that enjoys the “media-freedom without any sense of responsibility” is that no one gets killed for the filth they produce here. Besides, who are we to talk of “moral values” when we descend from a king who kicked out his beloved wife and his own kids to marry a “mail-order” bride?

Taking the Piss...

Stumbled upon the Maharaja website and I couldn’t help burst out laughing when I saw their headline banner which says “The Courage to be Different.”

Be Different? How?
By being different from FOX News: We Report. You Decide...?
By being different from the American Idol?
By being different from Elephant House Ginger Beer and Cream Soda?
By being different in other businesses they are in – in similar fashion?

You get the point.

For us, the consumers, Maharaja Group is no different. They just stole, imitated and copied others without an iota of guilt or shame to build their own business empire... no conscience, no morals. They are no different, they are just like everyone else – wolves in disguise.

I do not know much about the “courage” to be different; but they’ve got some balls to claim that they are different!

Oh, Weeds...

Not only I love the sitcom Weeds, I love the title track too. Not for any other reason, but for the relevance it has with the Sri Lankan society where everybody wants their kids to one day become doctors, engineers and MBA grad’s; own a little boxy house that Ceylinco built; drive pajeros and corollas and send their little ones to the best college in Colombo. Aaaah, the wonderful Sri Lankan Dream..!

So here goes:

Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky tacky

Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same

There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses all went to the university

Where they were put in boxes and they came out all the same,

And there's doctors and there's lawyers, and business executives

And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course and drink their martinis dry,

And they all have pretty children and the children go to school

And the children go to summer camp and then to the university

Where they are put in boxes and they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family

In boxes made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

(Malvina Reynolds - Little Boxes)

Read my earlier post on Weeds here.

The Next Big Thing on Showtime

Stayed up almost all night watching Weeds.

Weeds is an American comedy television series revolving around a young, recently widowed, single mother trying to cope with her troublesome two sons and trying to make a living by selling ganja to the affluent – including the city councilman. Funny, witty, insightful and very well written; its just beautiful to watch.

Currently in its fourth season, Weeds attracted 1.3 million viewers to Showtime, the highest ever for the channel.

Sri Lanka needs to break-away from the crap that’s on tv and offer the viewers something that’s worth watching and something that’s stimulating. Meaningful entertainment, brain-food perhaps. Definitely not a daily dose of imported Indian crap: rapists and child-molesters making love to each other. Maha-gedara is a good title and bad content. Weeds on the other hand, is a bad (?) title, but good content.

Going back to Weeds here’s a bit of dialogue that stuck in my head. Andy, the young-US-Army-volunteer, is having a conversation with Doug, the city councilman – seeking his help to withdraw from the call-of-duty.

Andy: “I’m not going to Iraq to fight in some bullshit war about oil money..!”

Doug: “Bullshit war?? What about 9/11? Didn’t Iran hide the terrorists?”

A: “We are fighting a war in I-R-A-Q Doug, and neither country has anything to do with blowing up the World Trade Centre..!”

D: “Well... they both have SAND...”

A: ”Bush invaded a sovereign nation in defiance of the UN. He’s a war criminal, and now I’m supposed to be one of his disposable thugs with a f**king target on my head in the middle of the desert, waiting to be blown up by a car bomb rigged by a 12 year old who loved Friends and Metallica until one of our missiles blew up his house..? I don’t think so!”

D: “Well... whatever...” [grabs a key from the drawer and stands up]

D: “Look, I’ve got a lotta’ shit to do...”

A: “You name me one thing you have to do that’s more important than the corporate takeover of our democracy..!”

[Doug holding up the bathroom key]
“I’ve gotta take a shit...”

Wild Elephant Reserve

After being absent for closer to 15 years, I returned to my Paradise Isle in 2005, feeling like an alien. Everything has changed, and I have changed the way I looked at everything too.

Things were different, things were difficult too. The red-tape, narrow-mindedness, hypocrisy, ignorance, sexism, racism, incompetent government sector, public transport system... irritated me. It was hard to come to terms with a nation that shuts down by 8.00 pm.

On my part, the worst thing was, I didn't have the desire to drink arrack anymore. I was a disgrace to the islanders, for I have lost the ability to cherish the beverage of the nation. And I felt horrible. I felt like Ranasinghe Premadasa dining at the Buckingham Palace – totally out of place – drinking vodka by the shot or gin n tonic while there were bottles and bottles of pure coconut arrack exchanging hands. Slowly, but surely, I acquired the taste for the golden syrup again. And guess what, here I am, about to reveal one of the best arrack drinks, ever.

I say, Vodka+RedBull, go fly a kite. For, we, the islanders of Taprobane, have something that can kick your nether-regions for good.

Say hello to Old Reserve n Wild Elephant.

Credit goes to Mash and Chintana for trying it out and figuring out the perfect, tongue ticking, lip-licking, sweet-mother-of-all, silky smooth combination, when we were in dire straits having run out of chasers towards the end of my birthday bash.

This is a yummy concoction, drinkable by the gallon, and has no known side effects. Since there is a clear difference between side-effects and after-effects, we assure you that there are absolutely no side-effects, at least not discovered as yet. After-effects, of course, are not guaranteed; as it would vary from the consuming gentleman to gentleman.

This drink is beautiful in colour too. Ideal summer drink, perfect to be consumed by the seaside watching the sunset, as one could possibly see the setting sun and the rising sun both in the same glass. If poets could draw, and artists can sing, this is the drink to make it happen.

Cheers!

The Lankan Gypsies

Driving from Welimada to Bandarawela, I saw a man walking along an isolated patch of road with a monkey. The little fella with a long tail was clad in bright coloured clothes and was kept by the owner in a long dog-chain.

Little did I realise that a few hours later both of them would show up on our doorstep.

The Sri Lankan nomads (gypsies/ahikuntaka) are a minority community in the country, slowly disappearing in their numbers. Threatened by the change and technology, they find it hard to fit in to the common culture even though some of them have successfully integrated in to the main Sinhala community. The gypsies are believed to have come from India, (when exactly not known) and some of them still speak Telegu while they are also fluent in Sinhala and Tamil.

These gypsies would travel from place to place with their donkey-caravans, set up camp in an abandoned plot of land where there is potable water, and able men and women would roam the countryside making a living by palm-reading and earning with their performing animals. Its the women who are conversant with palm reading, while the men stick to the animals (no pun intended). Usually, a gypsy man would carry a performing-monkey and a snake; and a python in his bag would be a bonus photo-opportunity.

The men would go from door to door sounding their snake-charmer’s flute – a trademark sound known to possibly every Sri Lankan kid. Hearing the flute, kids would trouble their parents for an opportunity to witness the “dancing cobra” or the “performing monkey;” and the whole neighbourhood would flock to join in the entertainment. At the end of each performance – which lasts less than half an hour – the monkey usually goes around and collects the “fees” from the spectators. The gypsies would prefer to negotiate a pre-agreed amount these days, they know not to take a chance at the end of a hard day’s work.

The women read palms, and there’s more entertainment value than truth. Most comments are generic, and universal truths, and when they say “Sir, something really good is going to happen to you soon,” one would, naturally, makeup one’s mind to double the tip. Gypsy men charm the snakes and their women charm us.

It is said that the gypsies wouldn’t camp in one place for more than seven days. Probably they couldn’t either, even if they wanted to – due to sanitary and hygienic reasons.

Over the years, the donkeys who used to carry the camping gear and the woven palm leaves that made shelter, have dwindled in numbers, possibly giving way to motorised transport and polythene sheets. The coconut shell that was once a drinking cup is no more, there’s a plastic cup instead.

The gypsies are, almost, a forgotten community. There are no records of them (such as births, marriages and deaths), or even addresses. Therefore, they never have most of the basic human rights, including the right to vote. Gypsy kids aren’t admitted to schools, for they lack any documentation. Public transport wouldn’t accept them in, at least not without frowning upon them.

However, recently there had been a few initiatives to improve their lifestyle. In one occasion, a Public Health Inspector helped a gypsy community of 18 families settle down in Mahakandarawa, and helped them send 18 of their kids to school. There has been some other such reports as well.

In a way, it is a blessing to hear that these people living in sub-human conditions receive the basic rights they rightfully deserve. At the same time, it would also be sad to see them get integrated in to the mainstream and see them disappearing from the face of the earth...

The Good-Spirited Game

The 128th Battle of the Blues is just few hours away.

There is no big match without alcohol, and thought of noting down some “alcohol facts” for the benefit of my fellow good-spirited sportsmen.

1. Alcohol isn’t Mama. As a well known doctor expresses it, maternal milk is man’s first anesthetic. In his infancy, the drinks were on her and they were wonderful – warm, satisfying and soothing – turning his wails into coos and making him feel comfortably sleepy. But comes a time when diet broadens out in the direction of solids such as beef steak and baked potato, and milord is supposed to be on solid ground permanently except for soups and something to drink now and then. Even so, the subconscious mind carries the memories of the simple life chez Mama which appeal nostalgically when cares and complexities get a man down in the middle. He yearns for consoling warmth that will soften up his troubles and make him feel good. Alcohol will do this comforting job, but it can't solve life for him “like Mama did.” It will take the cares off his back for an hour or an evening, but it can’t carry them by the day, week or month. Certainly it will never lick them for him. And if he is so infantile, so unweaned as to imagine it will, he is a psychic sissy.

2. Alcohol isn’t business success. It can be helpful in the form of diplomatic refreshments which build up aquaintance and thaw commercial ice. But that’s all, brother.

3. Alcohol isn’t a substitute for human society. The ingrown guy who drinks solitarily because “the bottle understands him better than people do” isn’t helping his troubles any. He is only thickening his shell. Doing so, poor hermit, with something convivial which, if normally used instead of misapplied for self-pity purposes, might have eased his shyness and gained him some friends.

4. Alcohol isn’t a solver of emotional problems. If your gal has turned you down for the other fellow, or your marriage has hit the rocks, don’t expect liquor to compensate. The label on the bottle makes no such promise.

5. Alcohol isn’t a cure for boredom.

6. Alcohol isn’t a stimulant. On the contrary, it’s a sedative, a relaxer. Upper story gets the biggest and quickest share, thereby shushing the Department of Don'ts and Restraints. Overdoses can unleash a whole pack of sleeping dogs, ranging from frisky to the ornery – which is a common sight at the match. Moderate doses can set the conversational ball rolling and coax introverts to come out from behind their false whiskers.

7. Alcohol isn’t a diet. It is a food, however, of a very special kind, an ounce of 100-proof whiskey contributing to about 100 calories, which the body uses as fuel. In an emergency, this prompt acting boost of energy is invaluable. But, alcohol can’t repair body tissues; only protein does that.

8. Alcohol isn’t a career. Not even a part-time job. It’s recreation. Tension relief; tested and trusted by many Royalists and Thomians alike.

9. And the last point: Alcohol doesn't mix with gasoline. We are not sissies, and we too have driven apparently better after having a few than before. Yes, you are more relaxed, perhaps in a better mood to make those positive decisions and direct movements that sometimes avoid an accident. But some State Authorities are physiological rather than psychological in their attitude. They say if you have had a couple of drinks, you'd better not drive. And they add – at sixty miles an hour your car is doing eighty-eight feet per second. This is the wrong time – facing a crisis – to be a split second – or forty four feet or so – slow on the brake.

In other words, when you drink, don't drive, and vice versa.

As for the rest, you know quite well how stupid and annoying and downright troublesome even dangerous a drunk may seem to you when you're thoroughly sober. So when you’re in your cups, try to tuck away in your mind somewhere that you are that undelectable drunken bum, and not the charming, daring, seductive, brilliant, lovable, heroic creature you seem to yourself.

A good rule, perhaps. Be merciful with other drunks. Don’t hit them, you may hurt them and be sorry. Don’t humor them, they may stay with you and you’ll be sorry.

Better advice. Avoid them.

Best advice. Don’t be one.

Said Cicero: “Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow.”

Long live the spirit of Royal-Thomian.

Amen.

Source and Inspiration: The Esquire Drink Book

The Bells of St. Lucia's Cathedral

"A cathedral is an eloquent testimony to what can be achieved when artistic inspiration and far-sighted vision collaborate harmoniously with deep Christian faith. That is why the pilgrim to Rome is overwhelmed not so much at the immense scale of the basilicas or by their artistic splendour, but by the sheer faith that inspired artists like Michaelangelo, Raffaello, Bernini and Maderna to visualise and execute such breath-taking wonders for the glory of God. Similar feelings awe and administration flood the soul of the visitor to St. Lucia's Cathedral, Kotahena, Sri Lanka. He is overpowered by the majesty of the dome, the gracefulness of the vault and the grandeur of Corinthian pillars. But above all, he is wafted high on wings of faith as he kneels to pray and contemplate this beautiful cathedral, such a magnificient Alleluia of praise to God, the creator of the universe."
- A light Set On a Hill

Had the rare opportunity of seeing the renovation work that is being carried out at one of the oldest churches in Sri Lanka - the St. Lucia's Cathedral. Construction of the Cathedral began in 1873 and was completed in 1902, with additions going on till about 1905. Over a century old, the cathedral today needs major maintenance work done, to restore the building to its former glory.

Among the many wonders at the Cathedral, are the chimes of bells. Donated by Mr A. N. De Silva of Mayfield House, Mudliar Henry Perera of Wasala Walauwa, Mrs F. J. Alles of Ternon House and Mr J. C. Peiris of Grandpass, the four bells were shipped from a foundry in Marseilles (France) in the SS Himalaya and were transported to the cathedral on the 5th of November 1903. Installation of the bells was a mammoth effort: the largest bell weighes 4,300 pounds. Messrs Walker Sons of Mutwal - one of the well-known engineering companies of that era, completed the task.

The bells were christened at 4.30pm on the 13th of December (the Feast of St. Lucia) by His Grace Rev. Dr. Th. Andrew Melizan - the Archbishop of Colombo. They were first ceremoniously washed with salt and water, then anointed four times with the Oil of Chrism, and named. When this was done, His Grace the Archbishop of Colombo sounded each bell once and this act was repeated by sponsors, the clergy and the Religious present. The wooden frames and the main teak beams were covered with white cloth, tied with green ribbons, Broad-lace, and gold paper. The bells were dressed in white satin robes edged with lace and embriodery. A thurible with burning incense and other aromatics was placed under each bell.

The whole ceremony lasted nearly two hours. That evening, the Angelus was rung on the newly christened bells.

The four bells are engraved with the Crucifixion, and the likeness of Fr. Chounavel. The name of the Foundry is inscribed on each bell: Georges & Francisque Paccard, Founders - A - Annecy - le - Veux Hte Savoie - France - 1903.

1. The biggest bell weighs 4,300 pounds and is christened
ANTHONY THOMAS.
It has engraved on it beautiful floral wreaths, the Crucifixion, the Sacred Heart, Our Lady, St. Joseph, and the twelve apostles. It has the crest of Oblates of Mary Immaculate with the caption Evangelitur Pauperibus Misset Me
This is the main bell of the cathedral - rung only in occasions whence the statue of St. Lucia is taken out in procession.

2. The bell next in size weighs 2,000 pounds and is christened
CONSTANT HENRY LUCIA EMILIA.
This, along with the bells three and four, are connected to the clock - to chime hourly, every half an hour and every fifteen minutes consecutively. The clock is still in perfect working condition, while the mechanism to chime the bells have ceased to function.

3. The third bell weighs 1,400 pounds and is christened
FRANCIS THERESA.

4. The fourth bell weighs 950 pounds and is christened
JEAN BAPTIST EDWARD ANNA.

The clock that is at the facia of the cathedral has the mechanism located elsewhere. They are connected with a long set of "differentials" that run through the thick walls. That is, another marvel, another story.

Perhaps, later.

Buddhism: selfless or selfish?

Life in Taprobane

I've been busy last few days - had to attend a friend's mom's funeral.

So it was a Christian funeral. I'm a Buddhist. I usually do not argue on religion and/or relationships; but the point I'm going to make here is going to piss some people off.

I am going to say that the most important reason for Sri Lanka to be in the current mess is, its primary belief: Buddhism. If Sri Lanka were a Christian or Muslim country, we wouldn't have had this prolonging war and the country would have been out of this mess much sooner.

Why do I say that?

Two reasons:

One, Buddhism trains us to be tolerant.

We keep our mouths shut and take it up our a** - not once, not twice, all the time. No one ever complains about anything in this country. No one points out a mistake. No one fights for their basic rights. We eat tasteless crap from restaurants, pay, and leave without uttering a word. If the food sucks, complain to the manager - at least the next person would benefit. If you don't get the service you deserve, just command for it. After all, you are paying, aren't you?

This kind of behaviour is everywhere you look. What a submissive nation. We are afraid of the system, we are afraid of the cops, we are afraid of - for God's sake - even the bus-conductors and three-wheeler drivers..!

Tolerance is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. But, aren't we getting screwed from all possible sides because of our tolerance and patience?

Two, Buddhism does not deliver what today's Sri Lankan society requires.

Buddhism is a philosophy, not a religion. Buddhism is all about developing one's self so that he or she would be able to let go of the worldly desires and attain the eternal bliss - nibbana.

Buddhism focuses on one's self, teaches one how to become less and less attached.

As a result, we have become selfish to a greater extent as a nation. Our parent's generation does not think of the country; they only think of themselves and how to redeem themselves from the sins they have accumulated. They offer a great deal of money, resources and time to temples in their old age, and "wish" for eternal bliss for themselves (and peace for the family).

But how much of their good wishes actually turn in to good deeds? We all know the answer. Very little.

Buddhism today is breeding a bunch of selfish individuals who only think of their redemption. They must learn to extend their kindness to the world. They must learn to show how much we care for each other. For example, don't pay Rs 5,000 to an orphanage for a meal, go give your neighbour a big manly hug and say that you care. Learn to show the world you care - period.

Buddhism is a selfish script. Listening to the funeral service, I realised that the spirit of Christianity is focussing on family, unity, and peace amongst us while Buddhism is talking about me, me, me and the eternal bliss.

The irony of Buddhism is that, the very "religion" that teaches us to escape from the "me, me, me concept" is teaching us to become more and more selfish with every single step we take further in to the "religion".

In this Paradise Isle, what we need today is peace amongst us. We need to learn to think of "us" and learn to become more selfless. Let's find peace today before finding the eternal bliss tomorrow.

Three Cheers for Rice

We LOVE rice. I mean the food, not Condoleezza Rice.

Sri Lankans have rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They love it, they want it. Take away their freedom, but don't take away their rice. Rice here is a national symbol, an icon that deserves to be put on the flag.

A Sri Lankan rice and curry meal is indeed a great treat. A treat fit for Kings. Fit for kings - that's the problem. The preparation requires an army of chefs, and loads of time. If I were a King, probably i could afford to have rice three times a day - the way it's meant to be, in this paradise isle.

But the trouble is, this is the 21st century. The king goes to work, while the queen probably does the same too. There are no armies of chefs at home. The national dish didn't evolve with times; it still commands laborious hours forcing the queen of home to wake up at wee hours - probably by 4 O'clock - to prepare the majestic meal. Imagine the number of hours this nation wastes in cooking their rice every single day?

If the womenfolk at home spends 4 hours a day in cooking (in average), that would be 20 hours during the weekdays. Keep 6 each for the weekend and she's spending a good 32 hours a week cooking. Let's be fair, and say 25 hours a week. Now multiply by the millions who do this every day... What a waste of time..!!

Ask a Sri Lankan guy to spend 25 hours a week cooking - to see what he has to say.

I'd say, evolve, people, Evolve..!

Just look at our neighbours - the Indians. They also eat rice and curry. True, their dishes are different, the preparations different, and the taste is different. But they have evolved. For the rice-fancy men who MUST have their home-made food, the city of Bombay offers a lunch-distribution network that is more complex, but a lot more efficient than DHL or FedEx. The women cook at leisure and send the lunch over to the guy's office - fresh. For those who wouldn't mind where the food came from, there are "ready to microwave & eat" rice and curry packs. Or the restaurants have "monthly tickets" and they deliver.

In most parts of the world, your lunch is delivered to the office. Works out to be fresher, cheaper and convenient. But here, in the paradise island, we love to go against the convention. Our hand-made shoes are cheaper and home cooked meals are cheaper. Who cares about the resources, who cares about the woman who wakes up so early every morning? Where's the compassion in this so called "most hospitable nation" on earth?

Why can't we be efficient in preparing our meals? Why only rice? Even if we MUST remain a rice-loving nation, why can't there be new innovations, new recipes? Russians love potatoes, and they have thousands of different recipes. Some take just 5 minutes to cook.

Why not pasta? Why not noodles? Why not roti for lunch?

We just love our rice. A lot more than our women. We don't really care if the wife, mom, sister, or the maid has to get up at 4 in the morning to cook for us, day in, day out. Do we?

I'd say, Evolve. Guys, love your rice, but love your women better.

Or learn to cook.